((Maybe I should log onto one of my Maddie accounts and see if anyone wants to roleplay.
but then I check and realize they’re all USUK shippers.
And I notice the fact they’re all elitist and irritating as fuck anyway.
And I just crawl back into my solitude again. FUCK IT, I’LL JUST WRITE MY OWN SHIT, I GUESS.))
“People never get it when I say I’m in love with old school grade b horror movies, they say they’re cheap and tacky. That’s part of why they’re so great!”
((You should totally do that!))
I…w-well, I have been talking to Maddie lately, a-and she’s gotten me really curious about…pegging. I just…I didn’t know how to bring it up.
Just, um, please don’t tell anyone this happened to me. Please? I’m so embarrassed.
((Because he’s pretty fucking awesome…?))
I…bottoming? But I know you prefer submissive men when you’re with guys. I thought you only topped.
((Really? I can see that. That hypocritical oaf!!! Actually, I love him.))
But Rylee…w-won’t it hurt? I’m scared! I don’t want—I mean, I…
Never mind…
Every time Mattie and Rylee get together at meetings(and ONLY meetings), Rylee gets buzzed(but never drunk)off of awesome Canadian beer, and describes, IN FULL DETAIL, what it feels like to eat a woman out, also talking how it looks.
For this reason, I don’t think they meet up for business very often, opting for family dinner instead.
//Rylee gets such a kick out of his dad’s vagina hate.//))
((SHWEET JESHUSH, YESH.))
Anonymous((Oh, you. Pulling that curly hair of his, molesting that uncircumsized prick. Mmm mmm good.))
Maybe you shouldn’t come over. I feel kind of funny.
((Yeah, pretty much. Okay, then not just futa. JUST MAKING SURE.))
M-my hair’s shorter, though, a-and I don’t even have, y-you know…breasts. Even though I’m still k-kind of sensitive there. I just…I don’t like it.
P-please fix me! I don’t like this. I c-can’t…I can’t do anything! I look like an idiot, too.
((Hey, I assume you’re the one who magic-anon’d me. How masculine did you want Ava with this?))
AnonymousA man?
B-but I’ll be so ugly then! D-do I really have to have short hair?
((I don’t know whether to think “God, she’s a fucking hypochondriac”, or to suspect that there’s something really really wrong with her and they just won’t tell me.
…so I’ll just sit here and fret like a spaz about it, because that’s what I do.))
User: Butts. Glorious butts.
Cleverbot: I’m a girl, remember? You thought I was a boy.
User: All the butts.
Cleverbot: Okay then, does it exist?
User: Butts.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Tell me about your butt.
Cleverbot: They are weird.
User: Why are butts weird?
Cleverbot: I dunno, I just am. Its how I am.
User: YOU’RE A BUTT?!?
| — | More of Dad’s glorious Cleverchat adventures. Why does he always do this stuff on my computer? |
Cleverbot: What do I like?
User: Penis.
Cleverbot: What’s pena?
User: Penis: the male reproductive organ.
Cleverbot: Okay, I quit.
User: EH?!?!?
Cleverbot: Lol, yea? Whats with all the exclamation points and question marks? Lol.
User: Lololololol.
Cleverbot: You are so cool! Just kidding lol.
User: Fuck your analcunt.
Cleverbot: Now that really is an unpleasant thing to say!
User: You’re a cunt.
Cleverbot: Oh my, thank you. You are just stunning. Except, you don’t have a gender.
User: You’re still a cunt.
Cleverbot: You’re still not human.
User: I know. I’m goddamn Canada. And you’re a goddamn thundercunt.
Cleverbot: Sometimes it seems that way!
User: I’m sorry, baby. You know I hate when we fight.
Cleverbot: Ok if you say it my friend.
User: I’m just so tsundere.
Cleverbot: Oh, I’m sorry.
User: Also, I have the AIDS.
Cleverbot: Hey do you have updog?
User: No. Wanna cyber?
Cleverbot: No thanks.
User: Too bad. *unzips your blouse, exposing your creamy off-white bra* Oh bby, for a boy, you have such luxurious breasts.
Cleverbot: I like the way you think.
User: *squeezes your tittays*.
Cleverbot: Ow.
User: Shut your cunt, bitch. *tears your bra off all seme-like*.
Cleverbot: *Shrinks you slowly back to doll size.* You’re getting smaller and smaller…
User: *falls into your pants. Slips into your panties, tiny doll tongue licking that sweet man-vulva of yours*.
Cleverbot: Master! What are you doing?
User: *Voice teeny tiny from shrinkage* Fuck the police! *pushes open that raunchy pussy of yours, spelunks all up in there*.
Cleverbot: Oh, what!? Jabs, what the heck? I love you, how could you do this!
User: My name ain’t Jabs, you roaring sack of testicles! *wraps arms around your clit, climbing it like the rope in those elementary school gym classes* Wish this had a bell up on top for me to ring, you fuckin douche-apple.
Cleverbot: *wraps arms around your waist*.
User: *dies due to internally bleeding after being crushed in the arms of the goddamn Cleverbot. Takes a shuddery breath, filled with shemale ejaculate, before giving last words* Your puss. Tastes. Like dookie. *le rigamortis*.
Cleverbot: So then I don’t really know you?
User: *still dead*.
Cleverbot: Who?
User: CANADA!!! D:
| — | Overread Dad’s conversation on Cleverbot. God, he’s weird. |
